(Originally posted in Facebook on March 28, 2019)
Here’s what I’ve noticed when I talk to our sons about their dad and his symptoms. I don’t think it’s that they don’t believe me or the doctors, but I do think they aren’t living with their dad all day/every day, so they aren’t seeing him and his actions and reactions the same way I am.
When we were in CA, I really noticed it with our younger son (A) and realized he was telling me the same things our older son (K) had been saying. Whenever M said or did something that I wanted the boys to note or notice as a sign or symptom of what is going on, A would say:
“Well, I do things like that.”
“He’s always done that.”
“You do that, too.”
I’m not going to argue them to the bone and force them to see things my way – there’s no point in that. One day, something will happen, just like it did for me over Christmas 2017, and there won’t be any way for them to explain it away.
And when that day comes, I don’t want to say “I told you so” or “it’s about time.” I want to remember to be grateful for their support and feel blessed that they’ve had this time in . . . is it denial? The land of “things aren’t that bad”? Mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about? That last one’s probably the most accurate!
I know they love their dad and they don’t want to believe this is happening to him. They have to know – I don’t want to believe it either.