(Originally posted in Facebook on February 12, 2019)
In the middle of all the testing that M was going through and the increasing confusion I could see, he was continuing to suffer with more and more migraine headaches – and no one but the two of us seemed too concerned about that fact. All his tests had come back negative for any kind of tumor or blood vessel problem that would indicate a physical cause for the headaches, so none of his MANY physicians responded when we talked about the increasing number of headaches he was having and the increasing number of days he was missing from work. And this is a man who NEVER missed a day of work. There was finally a point where he was taking sick days he was no longer being paid for because he didn’t have any more time available. It wasn’t that big a surprise to me when I came home one day during the summer and he told me that his employer had given him a Medical Leave of Absence. Essentially, he was to stay away from work for one month and, during that time, he was to have a physician certify that he was physically able to do his job.
I’ve dealt with migraine headaches myself for over 25 years and I have a wonderful neurologist who works exclusively with migraine issues. I hated to bring one more doctor into the mix, but we needed to get this handled and I didn’t know who else to call. So we got M in to see my headache doctor and it was really the best decision we made during that whole time. She agreed that he could go back to work, but not in the same capacity he had been working. He needed a job with less stress, less working in a tight, cramped environment, surrounded by chemicals, and in a temperature controlled environment – not outside with temperature extremes. Of course, the company he works for didn’t have to accommodate all those requirements, but fortunately they did . . . at one-third less pay than he was previously making. He’s doing less work, so he’s making less money – I get it. But that’s meant serious belt-tightening around our house!
M had his last serious migraine the day before he was told to take the medical leave of absence. Of course, he didn’t have any during the month he was off work. Since he’s been back to work, in his new position, he hasn’t had any, either. He doesn’t like the new job – says it’s boring and all he does is push papers around all day. But at least he’s not suffering the way he was.
There has been one bright spot in all this – in the industry where M has worked as long as I’ve known him, it’s a very male dominated work environment. There are women in the office areas and in certain divisions of the company, but traditionally not where M has been. In his new position, he’s working with primarily women for the first time in his work life. He is stunned – STUNNED – at the way women treat each other and talk about each other behind their backs. Every day he comes home with a new story of how two of them aren’t getting along and how it’s affecting everyone else. He’s staying out of it (I hope!!) but he can’t believe it.