I recently saw a headline that read “the art of being grateful on really hard days” and it stopped me in my tracks. Because days have felt especially hard lately.
And they shouldn’t. I’m still working – thank God! We’re all still healthy and still able to get groceries, as needed. My tendency to purchase items out of habit, whether I need them or not, has come in handy during this pandemic, so we’ve been in good shape when it comes to staples like paper towels and toilet paper.
So what’s the problem?
I just feel blah. And I don’t know why.
I haven’t had the energy to do anything – even at the weekend. I’ve had three and four day weekends and spent every single one of those days just sitting around the house – watching TV, doing a little bit of laundry and picking up a bit, but not really accomplishing much of anything.
And there’s SO MUCH I could get done, if I really put my mind to it.
Another friend asked this on her Facebook page recently: “Anyone ok for days at a time and then seized by despair and terror?”
No, I can’t say I’m filled with despair and terror. I just don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t have the energy to get up and accomplish . . . anything.
I’m going to work every day and I’ve been pretty busy there. The admin who supports our CEO has been out for the past few weeks, so I’ve been filling in for her. The work is very different from what I normally do, but it’s interesting and I know that I’m helping where it’s definitely needed. As a grant writer, there’s not much I can do right now, so this is an opportunity for me to be helpful and contribute to the organization. Time goes quickly while I’m at work, but it seems as soon as I get home, I lose all motivation to do anything. Lethargy sets in.
Yesterday we had the bloodmobile that M and I participate in every eight weeks and we were there – once again. As a part of the screening, before you give your blood, there are about 50 questions you have to answer. You can do it ahead of time, but I forgot to do the questionnaire before we went yesterday, so we had to complete it when we got there. I zipped right through it, but I noticed M seemed to be taking a long time. Finally, he called me over to help him. And here’s an example of another thing he’s lost the ability to do – he couldn’t answer the yes or no questions on the questionnaire.
Fortunately, he wasn’t upset about it – just wanted help to do it.
That I can do.
Sending you love.