Back from the Blahs – I guess

Long time, no . . . I know.

There’s really not much I can say. I have been completely out of it. I had no energy. No drive. Nothing.

I went to the bloodmobile and they told me my blood pressure was up.

I don’t care.

I went to the doctor and she told me my cholesterol was up.

I don’t care.

Winter has transitioned into spring and then crept into summer. I’ve spent every single day either at work, in my car or in my house. I don’t care what is happening outside.

These days and weeks (and months) of nothing to do and nothing to look forward to have really taken a toll on what I like to think of as a sunny disposition. Oh, I’ve been smiling – but I didn’t mean it.

My counselor finally called me on it. She said, “You look happy, but your sparkle is gone.” And it was. Breathing almost seemed to take too much effort.

So, as our state has started to open back up, I’ve started to schedule some dinners out with friends. Just to have something to look forward to. And something else to do.

I can’t say it’s made all the difference. I’ve also started to get out of the house and take walks through the neighborhood. Turns out, there’s a world out there I’ve been ignoring.

I also got a call last night from a local teaching hospital regarding a research study for the care-givers of dementia patients. It’s a two-year study and, if it’s as wonderful as the woman explained on the phone, I’ll get access to all sorts of resources and assistance that I don’t have right now.

Talk about something that couldn’t have come at a better time!!

And, again, when you’re ready to receive a lesson, it’s there for you . . . our hospital chaplain sent this poem out as part of her weekly message today, and it was exactly what I needed to read. I hope it will be helpful for you if you need it today, too.

“Life”

By LR Knost

Life is amazing.

And then it’s awful.

And then it’s amazing again.

And in between the amazing and the awful

It’s ordinary and mundane and routine.

Breathe in the amazing,

Hold on through the awful,

And relax and exhale during the ordinary.

That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life.

And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.