GREAT visit this past weekend with M’s brother and sister-in-law. They were incredibly helpful around the house, jumping on projects that needed to be done instead of looking at them, feeling overwhelmed and just walking away – which is what I tend to do.
We did have a few moments of chaos, as one does when working on home improvement. Brother was working on a project in the shower when I heard him say “oh shitake!” and then I heard the sound of water gushing in the bathroom.
That is not a good sound. Lesson learned, turn off the water before you start any sort of plumbing project.
Brother came out and asked me where the water shut off valve is. I have no idea. M knows where it is – at least he used to – but he couldn’t tell us either. Sister-in-law and I went under the house and spent a good 10 minutes in the creepy, crawly crawl space (during which I could hear the water running the whole time) trying to find the shut off valve.
We couldn’t find it.
Finally, brother came down to the crawl space, soaking wet, looked and he found the valve – hidden behind the insulation in a wall. I wouldn’t have looked there in a million years. When we all got back upstairs and started looking around, M was nowhere to be seen. Brother thought he had gone next door to ask our neighbor where the shut off valve was.
What?!?! Our neighbor wouldn’t know something like that. I looked around outside and our neighbors all appeared to be away from home. Then sister-in-law saw M running up the driveway. And behind him?
A fire truck. With its lights flashing.
M had run (run!) to the fire department, about half a mile from our house, alerted them to trouble at the house and then run back. I guess they wouldn’t let him ride on the truck. He was all out of breath, sweating and very upset by the time he got to the top of the driveway and we all came outside.
I was able to speak to the fire fighters away from M and explained the situation to them – not only about the home improvement work we had been doing but about M and his diagnosis. They were glad to know about him because, as they said, his interaction with them made much more sense once they knew what he was dealing with.
I guess it’s good to know that, in an emergency, M knows to go to the fire department – although the situation Saturday really didn’t qualify as “fire department worthy.” I was concerned that he left the house without a word to anyone and, later, worried what would have happened if he hadn’t been able to find his way back home.
But it all ended well and our bathroom looks fantastic. Bonus – I know where the water shut off valve is. Knowledge I never knew I needed.
I enjoy your stories, would not, however, if they were mine. Just know I feel for you, and would help if I were a neighbor. Bless you!
I’m glad he was able to be so resourceful, and it is good to have emergency people know he is in the neighborhood. One of my favorite stories of someone with dementia knowing where to find help an old man who walked into the office at an Episcopal Church. He had wandered and was lost. He told them he came in because of the “sign”. He meant the design of the Episcopal Church shield on every sign on every church. The people in the office were able to get his first name and began to call all of the Episcopal Churches in the area. Sure enough they hit one with a member named Walt (no last name, no address) that the office knew had dementia. That church called the family and it was a hit. The family was able to drive 2 miles to where “dad” had seen the sign and pick him up and take him home. I’d say, “Good job, M!”