Can you believe it’s now been two weeks – two complete weeks – that M has been attending memory care daycare? Or his volunteer center, as we like to call it. (That’s how I get him to go – I tell him he’s going to volunteer.) I’m really pleased with everything about it: the care he’s receiving, the activities he participates in, the meals and snacks he gets every day.
But most importantly, I’m happy with the peace of mind that I have from it.
I’m not worried about him sitting at home by himself all day. I don’t have to stress that he’s walked off and left the house wide open – and I don’t know where he’s gone. Or possibly let someone in the house that we don’t know. I was never concerned about him trying to turn on the stove or oven, but that doesn’t mean he might not have decided one day to give it a try.
Now I know he’s safe and sound. But it hasn’t been without its problems, too.
One day last week, I was in the process of gathering my things to leave work and pick M up (I now have to leave work about 20 minutes earlier than “normal” to be able to pick him up before the center closes.) The phone rang and it was the center, calling because M was having one of his meltdowns.
Oh no. I had actually hoped those fits were all just a reaction to me and that he wouldn’t do that around anyone else. No such luck.
The director couldn’t think of anything that might have set him off – and I know there usually isn’t anything. It’s just like some sort of switch flips. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, as I was hustling to the car and racing to get there as quickly as I could. All he could tell me was that that place was “ridiculous” and everything was “bullshit.”
Okay. I told the director that I’d be there as quickly as I could – but that I was 30 minutes away. I recommended letting him walk around outside, if possible, but really there’s nothing else to do.
When I got there, M was walking outside with one of the staff members and I could tell he was ranting about something. When I got him in the car, he continued along the same line about the place being “ridiculous,” but he couldn’t tell me anything in particular that had upset him, just everything was ridiculous.
It didn’t take him long to calm down and we talked about better ways to handle things if he gets frustrated about something – which he won’t remember next time it happens. The director and I talked that night and decided to let him try the center again the next day – and he did great. And has ever since then.
I just never know.
I did talk to his primary care physician a couple of weeks ago about this “switch flipping” that has been happening, along with the sleeping issues M has been having. Unlike M’s neurologist, the PCP was not hesitant to prescribe some meds, but a whole host of errors caused it to take a long time for us to get the pills.
The pill to help him sleep ended up having a $75 co-pay, so I said to forget it – we’ll keep using $4.00 a bottle Benadryl, thank you.
The pill to help him stabilize his moods, however, turned out to be great. WAY too great, as a matter of fact. The instructions said to take one pill, twice a day, so I had M take it morning and night for about three days before I saw the results.
He was a total zombie.
He couldn’t walk, he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t stay awake for longer than a minute . . . he couldn’t function AT ALL! I asked my counselor about it and it turns out that the prescription M was given was one from a class of benzodiazepines. But the one he got was the strongest and most potent, when we probably should have started on the milder end of the spectrum.
I tried cutting the pills in half, but he was still completely out of it, so I stopped giving them to him all together and reached back out to his PCP. Wouldn’t you know it – he’s out of town for the next week!
Why didn’t I make a side trip to a weed shop for edibles when we were in NJ?
I’m glad M is at daycare. I know that must be a huge relief to know he is being cared for during the day. I think now is a good time to start shopping for a 24 hour facility. You will need it eventually, and there could be all kinds of lag time, waiting for openings, etc. Having the peace of mind knowing the next step is important.
Great minds! I’ve already started looking and have a couple of tours lined up. You’re right – now is the time to get the plans in order so I can make a decision while it’s not rushed.
We asked about medicinal marijuana for my husband’s early onset Alzheimer’s and were told it was not something that could be taken with his current meds, and that it would have the opposite effect desired. So it’s apparently out of the question ☹️. We thought it would mellow him out too but I guess it causes the wrong effect on brain cells.
I would really have to question that. I have a hard time believing much (if any) sort of research or testing has been done on the effects of medication with medical marijuana. But you know how it is – I’m at the point I would (myself) ingest nuclear waste if I thought it would help.