I can’t believe I’ve been working at the new job for two weeks now! I’m one of very few employees who actually go to the office every day – most of the employees are still working from home. I could do that, too, but with M’s “work” just down the road, it makes more sense for me to be at the office.
Although on a cold, rainy day in November, I may change my mind about that.
M continues . . . as he continues. There are good days and then there are days I just want to throttle him. One day this past week, we got through the day and dinner and it was time for his shower. So, I was upstairs with him, helping him get undressed and getting the shower started for him. Keep in mind, I’ve been doing this for several months now because he can’t do it for himself.
Suddenly, he became SO angry – just shaking, he was so angry – and saying “WHY do I have to do this?” I tried to be matter of fact about it and not react to the anger – let him know that adults shower on a regular basis so they won’t stink and this is something he has been doing since he was a teenager.
Amazingly, that didn’t make him feel any better or less angry about what was going on. Fine – you want to be angry and unpleasant? You can be angry in the shower . . . all by yourself. I left him there and walked out of the bathroom.
No surprise – he was calling for me to come back and help him within 30 seconds. Full of apologies, but that doesn’t make up for how ugly he was before I walked out. And I KNOW this is a result of the disease, and he would never act like this if he were in his “right” mind. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
This morning, I had M put on shorts, since it was going to be hot today. When he came down for breakfast, he was agitated about something, but couldn’t verbalize what was bothering him. Finally he pointed at his feet and then tugged at his socks, which were crew socks, and I asked if he wanted “no show” socks.
Yes! That was it!
So now the task is: take off your shoes, take off the crew socks, put on the no-show socks, put back on your shoes. Easy, right?
No. Not so easy.
He really struggled with it. He got one shoe and crew sock off, then the no-show sock on, then the second shoe off, second crew sock off . . . second crew sock BACK on, second shoe back on, second shoe BACK off . . . I finally had to step in, take the shoes away (because they seemed to be a distraction) and supervise the changing of the socks.
Then all was well.
A woman, whose mother is a dementia patient and who also attends the support group I’ve been attending, has friends who work as respiratory therapists and, therefore, have a behind-the-scenes view of area memory care centers. I was able to get in touch with her yesterday and find out which centers in this area would be best for moving M into, when we’re ready to make that happen.
Fortunately, there are quite a few in this area. Now to get some tours and visits lined up. I think I’d rather be going to Disney World.
