And the frustration continues . . .
You know, if this were a movie, no one would believe this plotline. It’s really too far fetched to be real.
As of this writing, M has been in the behavioral health unit of the emergency department of a local hospital for 22 days. He was discharged by the psychiatrist (“discharged from a psychiatric perspective” is the phrase I keep being told) 13 days ago. But the behavior that caused him to be placed in the behavioral health unit hasn’t changed.
Okay – let’s think about this. The hospital is keeping a dementia patient in a behavioral health unit and essentially in a room, where he can’t go outside or roam around, for over three weeks. The psychiatrist has discharged him, after changing his medication, but before determining whether or not the change in medication would change the problem behaviors.
Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?
For nearly two weeks now, the case managers at the hospital have been about to wet their pants to get M out of the hospital. I understand – they need the bed. They have other patients to get in there. So they’ve called around to every memory care long-term care facility there is. They even brought “A Place for Mom” in on the case.
But the problem comes when memory care facilities get a glimpse of M’s nursing notes. They see what his behaviors have been like, and how they’re still not controlled by medication, and each facility says “no.”
I understand that, too. These facilities are filled with 80 – 95-year-olds with dementia. Bringing a 59-year-old, 200 pound man with behavior issues into that environment is a recipe for sleepless nights.
We need one of two things to happen. We either need to find a place for M that is designed for younger people with dementia – or – we need the psychiatrist to GET BACK TO WORK and reassess the medications M is on so his behavior can be brought under control.
Here’s where we are: thanks to some marvelous people in my life, I’ve been connected with a behavioral health navigator (did you ever imagine there WAS such a thing?) who is helping me find a place for M. There are three places in our state that would be perfect for him. And guess what? Because of COVID and staffing issues, they’re not accepting any new patients at this time . . . and don’t anticipate accepting any new patients for another six months.
So, M is on a waiting list for them.
Plan B: light a fire under the psychiatrist. It’s obvious to me that this psychiatrist has washed his hands of the situation and moved on. It’s also apparent he doesn’t know me very well. I will leave no stone unturned to get this resolved. I contacted M’s neurologist today, who was VERY surprised and distressed to learn that M was still in the hospital. He has looped his social worker in on the message I sent, so we’ll see what she can do.
The psychiatrist has an office practice – guess who will be calling there to have a little chat tomorrow? Every hour, on the hour.
My plan tomorrow is also to spend the day contacting every person in any sort of position of authority at the hospital and tell them my story. By the end of the day, there isn’t going to be one person there who doesn’t know that M is in the behavioral health ED and has been there WAY TOO LONG.
Surely to goodness, this squeaky wheel will get the oil it needs and M will get the psychiatric services he needs to get better.
As you said. Advocate. Always. I wish you well. Sometimes we have to turn into the kind of people we never wanted to be.
Really brave post here. That said… This is gut wrenching and beyond horrific. I’m so sorry you’re going through this… everyone deserves better than this.
I had forgotten that you are also acquainted with the mental health system in our country. So you also have first-hand knowledge of how inadequate and ineffective it is. Ugh. It is beyond annoying.
You are a force to be reckoned with. I am so proud of you!
This is the Linda I know and love. And, you are loving him in the most wonderful way by fighting for him when he can’t. You bend, but don’t break, because you are you. And, I love you.
I love you – and miss you so much! I could use one of your Frances Eber hugs every hour. You’re a great friend and I appreciate your support!
You keep squeaking!!! Hopefully, the right person will get involved and apply the grease. It’s crazy that the doctor has abandon M and he’s been there three weeks!!!! Prayers for wisdom for you.
No one seems to know what to do. His regular neurologist doesn’t like to prescribe mood-altering drugs, because you don’t know how dementia patients will react to them, so he doesn’t. His GP is willing to prescribe, but we haven’t found the right one yet. The hospital psychiatrist will give him something, but it’s only for hospital use. It’s beyond frustrating.