How hopeful do you allow yourself get?
The West Virginia School of Medicine has a clinical trial for Alzheimer’s patients involving ultra-sound to open the blood/brain barrier and treat dementia patients. They’re looking for new patients and I asked M’s neurologist if we could get him in and he said yes. So, his office is in the process of trying to get him enrolled.
Keep in mind, the neurologist’s office hasn’t been able to reach anyone in West Virginia yet.
But already, I find myself in the land of “what if.”
“What if” this really works?
“What if” I get my husband back?
“What if” M is able to go back to work?
I know I shouldn’t allow myself to think that far ahead . . . first things first – we need someone to answer the phone! But I can’t help myself. I find myself daydreaming.
Do you know who I would like to have back? The man who used to drive me crazy. The one who was concerned about my 35 minute drive to work every day and, therefore, wanted me to text him as soon as I arrived to let him know I had made it there safely.
Now, he doesn’t remember that my drive concerns him. And he has a hard time opening his phone to read texts, so there’s no point in me trying to text him – he’s never going to see it.
But I miss knowing he cared.
I think hope is always a really good thing. I really hope M gets in the study and miracles happen. And I remember all too well, with each of my parents, that moment when I realized they were no longer asking about my well being. It was such a hard shift. Sigh. Sending you much hope and peace.
Thank you! That realization that the one you love has stopped being interested . . . wow – that really hurts. I really want it back!
That’s not good that they’re not answering the phone. Good luck!
I know, right? Trying to stay positive, but . . .
That would be wonderful if he can get in the program. Praying.
Many thanks!