Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way!

Even though I’m turning into my grandmother, the one that woke up every morning at 4 am to get that first cup of coffee, I really don’t like to get going in the morning. I may be awake in plenty of time to get myself where ever I need to go . . . but I don’t like hurrying myself along to get there.

I LOVE a slow, quiet morning, with lots of time to sit and contemplate the views of the outside world. Maybe I could thumb through a magazine or pick up a book. Keep in mind, I’ve never really HAD a morning like this . . . I just like the sound of it.

Now imagine me trying to rush around the kitchen in the mornings, getting myself together and out the door, with M managing to put himself DIRECTLY IN MY WAY for every step I take. I really don’t know how he does it. It’s like he has radar and can sense what direction I’m going to go in next – and then he moves to that part of the kitchen.

I’ll even give him something to do that takes him to another part of the house . . . hoping and praying it will keep him out of the way long enough for me to get done. Most of the time, he is as slow as molasses in January. I’m forever saying “You’re not moving as fast as I need you to.” But if he senses that I want him out of the way, he turns into Speedy Gonzalez. You’ve never seen anyone move so fast!

I’ve asked him to sit down and stay out of my way while I’m trying to get ready. That’s when he behaves as though I’m speaking a foreign language and he doesn’t understand what I’ve said. Either that, or he’ll say “Sit down?” as though that’s the most unusual thing anyone would do and he’d just as soon start running a marathon as take a seat.

This morning, I thought I had figured out the key. I went down to the den and turned on “Star Trek,” thinking he would sit down there and begin the daily binge. Nope. He was hot on my heels, back into the kitchen to make sure I didn’t make a move without him directly under my feet.

Once again, I know it’s all part of this disease. I’m the most familiar person in his world and he wants to be with me. ALL. THE. TIME.

We were watching “The Grand Tour” on Amazon Prime last night (you don’t have to be a car enthusiast to enjoy this show, although it helps. Those three guys are HILARIOUS!! I watch it for the laughs.) and one of the guys was on crutches and another was complaining that he had become his “carer.”

I looked at M and said “that’s what I am – your carer.” He had laughed when the guy on TV said it, so I thought he would enjoy it when I said it, but it just confused him.

Really and truly, it’s confusing for all of us.

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