The Daycare Dilemma

When someone with dementia begins to need care during the day, you know it. With M, he leaves the house while I’m at work, leaving it wide open, or as he’s watching TV, the message will come on that asks if he’s still watching a show and he needs to press “yes.” But he doesn’t realize that he needs to do anything, so the TV turns itself off – and then he wanders around the house with nothing to do for the rest of the day.

And those are just a few of the things that are going on.

But here’s where the dilemma for a caregiver begins. And if you think trying to get Social Security Disability approved was a treat, just wait until you try to navigate the labyrinth that is memory care day care in the time of COVID. Challenging does not begin to describe it.

First, there’s the matter of finding a memory care day care center that is open. There’s a really good one, just a couple of blocks from where I work. BUT it has been closed since last March – due to COVID – and they are showing no signs of reopening.

There are other centers, closer to my house, that are currently open limited hours due to COVID – but that does me no good, either. If I have to leave for work at 7:30 am and the center doesn’t open until 9 or 10 am, I can’t drive back 30 minutes to the house, drive M to the center, drive back 30 minutes to work, then drive back and pick him up at 3 pm (when it closes) and then get back to work and get some more time in before 5 pm. I’ll spend all day on the road.

I have found one center that is open full time in my area. I had a virtual tour of the center (COVID again) and it seems as though it would be a good place for M to attend. It’s a good 20-25 minutes from my house in the opposite direction from my job (of course!) but I think I can make the logistics work.

There’s just one negative – $1,600 a month for M to attend. I think I paid around that amount per year to attend college.

But it’s important. I want M to be in a good, safe, caring place. Of course, if he gets there and hates it, that’s another story. But I’m going to do whatever it takes.

Fortunately, the woman I’m working with there is performing her magic to try to find some kind of funding to help offset the cost of M attending. Right now, anything would be helpful.

But his happiness and safety and my peace of mind are priceless.