Let’s Start That Memory Care!

Where does the time go? I really need more hours in the day to get everything done and still have time to sit down and write about all that has happened.

Monday was the big day – M spent a half-day at the memory care day care. I worked from home that day, so I could drive him there to arrive at 10 am, then be there to pick him up at 2 pm.

I didn’t say one word on Sunday about him going anywhere Monday. I’ve learned my lesson and I kept my mouth shut. We went to bed Sunday night like it was any other Sunday, and when we woke up Monday morning, I treated it like any other Monday – except I didn’t go to work. Around 9:00 am, I mentioned that a friend of mine was looking for volunteers to help her at her job and I thought he might like to help out.

Wait for it . . . wait for it . . .

He thought it might be a good idea and “maybe one of these days” he’d look into it, but he had no intention of doing it then. Well, it just so happens, I have time today – what do you know about that?!! I had him through his teeth brushing/deodorant/shaving so fast, it would make your head spin – and we were OFF!

When I dropped him off, there was someone at the door to help him get out of the car and do the COVID check-in and then they whisked him away. As part of their infection prevention, I’m not allowed in the building, so all I could do was wave good-bye and drive off. I have to admit, I had tears in my eyes as I drove home. It’s like taking your child to school for the first day – it’s very emotional! Will he make friends? Will he like it? Will they call me in 15 minutes and tell me to come get him?

I was asked to come back at 1:45 to talk to the nurse before M came out at the end of his day. The nurse told me that M was a welcome addition to their group, that they loved having him there. He was very helpful, participated in all the activities and seemed to enjoy interacting with everyone.

She also told me that she had spent some time assessing him and had asked him a series of 10 – 15 questions: how old he was, where was he born, what was his birthdate, what was his address, what was his phone number, who is President of the United States, can you count backwards from 20 by three?

He couldn’t answer ANY of the questions.

Not really a surprise to me – but at the same time, I hate to see that.

The whole way home, he was so enthusiastic about the time he spent there. He told me over and over again how nice everyone was. He couldn’t tell me much about what he had done – I learned from the nurse that he had participated in an exercise class and I knew he was there for lunch, so I asked about those. He said he enjoyed everything, but he always circled back to how nice everyone was.

He was also very careful to tell me that, even though he enjoyed his time there, he didn’t think he wanted to go every day. Maybe someday again in the future – a few weeks from now.

Little did he know, my alarm was already set to get up early Tuesday morning and get ready so we could get him there by 7:30 am.

He grumbled and groused while he was getting ready to go yesterday morning – then he gave me the silent treatment during the drive over. I had thwarted his plan to stay home! Oh, but he was all sunshine and light when the people at the center were helping him get out of the car after we arrived. Whatever. As long as he was there.

This morning was another story. When I woke him up (I haven’t had to wake him up since he stopped working – he’s up as soon as my alarm goes off) he was moaning and groaning that his stomach hurt. Where have I heard this before? He went to the bathroom and when he came down to the kitchen, he let me know he was much too sick to go today.

Uh huh.

I gave him some Tums and a Coke, but he didn’t want any cereal or toast. He just wanted to pout about being forced to get dressed. So he made his displeasure known by throwing his shoes and his belt at the wall in the bedroom – scaring the dogs half to death – but I completely ignored the tantrum and hustled him out the door and into the car. After another silent ride and sunny drop-off, I realized, as I was driving into work, that the fit he pitched this morning looked just like the kind of fit you’d see from a two-year-old on the floor of the grocery store when you won’t buy them a candy bar. He was hoping I was going to tell him he didn’t have to go to “school” today – and I’ll be honest; I almost gave in – but I held firm and sent him on.

Let’s face it – unless you’re sitting on a beach or in a cabin in the mountains, none of us is REALLY where we want to be during the work week. I get that he’d rather be at home, enjoying a Star Trek marathon. But just like when we were in school, or when we wanted a candy bar at the grocery store, we didn’t always get our way and now I need him to be somewhere safe and monitored.

Where they feed him two meals and a snack from Golden Corral! Really, how bad could it be?