Way back around 2008 or 2009, the economy took a MAJOR hit and a lot of jobs disappeared. Including mine. It’s hard to believe now, when every business you can think of is desperate for employees, but back then, it was hard to find a job.
While I was looking, I wanted potential employers to think I had done more than sit around and watch TV, so I became a Hospice volunteer. All I did was answer the phone, make coffee and fill up the snack bowl at the Hospice Home, but that work made it possible for the nurses and nurse techs to do their jobs. And I enjoyed it. So much so that when I found a job and was working full-time, I continued my volunteer duties for almost ten years.
It was only when M’s dementia worsened to the point that I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone for three hours on Saturday mornings that I stopped volunteering.
Fast forward (and I do mean FAST forward – this has been the fastest time I’ve ever seen) just a few years and here I am again. But instead of sitting at the desk, answering the phone, I’m sitting in a patient room and watching M breathe.
M arrived here LATE Saturday night – another casualty of the lack of employees in key businesses, we had to wait almost eight hours for the ambulance to bring M from the hospital to the Hospice Home. As I knew they would be, the staff here has been AMAZING. They have taken such good care of M since he arrived – not because they know me from me working here before, but because that’s what they do.
Of course, knowing some of the nurses and techs has been nice. It’s wonderful to see them again. But I know they give this same love and attention to every patient and family in their care. I’ve seen it first-hand. And now I’m experiencing it.
December 2017. That’s when we started this journey. I had some suspicions and doubts before then, but it was decorating for Christmas 2017 that I knew for sure we had a problem and we started down the road of trying to get a diagnosis. And now here we are – February 2022. As I listen to M breathe, I know this journey doesn’t have many hours left.
When we received the diagnosis, I knew what the end result would be and yet . . . somehow, I never thought we would be here. Tonight. Sitting in a room at the Hospice Home. What did I think? That somehow, he would avoid this terrible ending? That the doctors were wrong? That it was all a bad dream?
Yes. No. All of the above.
But for now I’m holding on, hoping I’m supporting my boys in the way they need and trying not to dive too deeply into pints of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream.
That’s all I can do.
My heart goes out to you, your husband, and the boys .
Linda, I am sure the two of you are not alone in that room. Surely God is there with you and will comfort you. That is the hardest thing A person ever has to do. I spoke to Kim wood tonight and she went through the same thing with her mother last week. I know it is of little comfort but my prayers are with you.
Thinking about all of you tonight. I’m praying for an easy transition for M and peace for you and your boys. You’ve all been through quite a journey. 🙏❤️
LINDA! What to say? Please know we care….feel a hug from us. May God bless you, and your family, and may you feel His presence. … Your writing skills are stellar and you articulate so well. Someday…….maybe you will write a book! Sending love, hugs, and prayers.
I’m so sorry. I wish peace for both of you.
😢 sending all the love hugs and prayers yours and M’S and your boys way!!!! M is a great man and I’m so greatful God gave me the chance to know and work with him and to meet you. My heart hurts for you !!
“To see the world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour”
May you feel God’s love now and in the days to come. Thinking of you and sending love and hugs your way!❤️
Thank you Linda for keeping us all updated on M. Peace be with you now and in the days ahead my friend. May God comfort you and surround you with His love. Don’t hesitate to reach out with your needs. Continued prayers for you & your family Linda. 🙏🏻❤️
I’m so sorry this has happened so fast. I know you have worked so hard to make sure he has had the best care and kept safe. Prayers for peace and comfort.
I will buy and deliver 3 million pints of whatever flavor you want of anything you want or need. It is completely selfish to say how helpless I feel when I know you have that same feeling times a billion. We love you and pray for you and your family. XO
Linda your journey has been so long and short too. I lost my Jack 23 years ago on our 37th anniversary this coming Feb. 10th. He died in his sleep of a heart attack. I thought he was snoring and he was taking his last breath. I poked him like I usually did and realized something was wrong and just like that he was gone! I know your journey has been long and very stressful but you have had time with M to prepare for what’s ahead. I wish I had had more time with my precious husband who had just turned sixty a. couple of months before. You have shared your love for Matt in every post you have shared. It’s been heartbreaking for you I know, but have handled everything with such grace. Please know that you have had my prayers and love ever since you began to share your journey. I pray that God will give you peace during the rest of your journey. Much love to you and your family sweet girl. Annie Laura Perdue
I am so, so sorry. Words fail me. I hope you find some peace soon because I know you have not had more than a moment or two of peace over the last years. In the meantime, use all your crutches including Haagen Dazs but go easy on the ones that are not good for you. This is exactly why we have crutches.
❤️ I hold you in my heart. There are just no words. Thanks for your update. Peace to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing your difficult and painful journey. Through your eyes and heart, you’ve helped us all get a glimpse of how mean dementia is and what it’s like to deal with it earlier than most. Your are amazing my friend with such a beautiful spirit. I’m praying for you and your family!
Linda, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Matt.
Linda your journey has been so long and short too. I lost my Jack 23 years ago on our 37th anniversary this coming Feb. 10th. He died in his sleep of a heart attack. I thought he was snoring and he was taking his last breath. I poked him like I usually did and realized something was wrong and just like that he was gone! I know your journey has been long and very stressful but you have had time with M to prepare for what’s ahead. I wish I had had more time with my precious husband who had just turned sixty a. couple of months before. You have shared your love for Matt in every post you have shared. It’s been heartbreaking for you I know, but have handled everything with such grace. Please know that you have had my prayers and love ever since you began to share your journey. I pray that God will give you peace during the rest of your journey. Much love to you and your family sweet girl. Annie Laura Perdue
Saying prayers for God’s grace and mercy for you both. I know it’s a very small comfort but know that there are a lot of people thinking of you both and praying.
You are in my prayers.
I’m so sorry. My heart is with you. I have followed you on this horrible journey from that Christmas.
My beloved husband died of his dementia complications with compassionate Hospice care on December 11. 8 weeks ago. God bless you.
Linds, sending all the love I can to you and your family. May you and M find the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Sending up prayers for peace for you and M. Such a difficult time. I am so glad you both are surrounded by such good care right now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Linda and Matt. Take care of yourself!❤️
I am so sorry.
Dear L,
Two days ago, I ventured back on to Facebook after a 3-year absence and your blog, “Our New Kind of Normal,” was in my notifications waiting for me to read. I usually delete or ignore notifications and go on to wishing friends or loved ones a happy birthday or offer congratulations for their latest accomplishment. I then leave Facebook and return to checking email. I can’t tell you why I clicked on the particular notification, only that I did. I read it and soon it begin to dawn on me that I know you. I know your brother A and I once met either OS or YS in J-town. All of this happened years ago when both of us worked for the same bank.
I’ve spent the past few days and nights catching up. Reading about the journey you and M have been navigating and kicking myself for not staying more connected. Me saying, I’m so terribly sorry for what’s happening doesn’t seem appropriate or enough; but I don’t have the words. I don’t believe anyone has them. What I do have is a wonderful memory of how sweet you were and that just being around you long enough for a brief lunch provided me with a much-needed break from the reality of a terminal cancer diagnosis for my sweet husband. Please know that you, M and your family are in my prayers.
Peace, C
Lovely-You don’t know this but I think of your beautiful family often. Anonymously of course, I’ve turned your wonderful Adam’s lawn service business into a small case I use for Accounting classes.
You and Matt raised wonderful boys. He taught them hard work and loyalty. I am here. 336-706-3586
My prayers are with you. OXOX Leah
Praying for you, Matt, and your family.
Thankful that Matt is in a more peaceful state and is surrounded by those who love him and the very caring Hospice staff. Praying for you, Matt, and your family.
So many have said it so much better than I can. My heart is breaking for you, and I know you have moved to that place of “no longer” and where I am “not yet.” May you have the chance to fully take in every day free of worry, regret nothing, relax, and know you have done an incredible job at being the very best wife and caregiver you could possibly be. You have been an inspiration to so many and for your willingness to share your and your husband’s journey, I eternally thank you. Your bravery and grace are second to none. You are my hero ❤️🙏
Bless you, I am grieving for you. May you find some peace soon.