(Originally posted in Facebook on February 18, 2019)
The changes that have happened with M have been subtle over time – almost imperceptible. It hasn’t been a situation in which one day he was able to perform a task and the next day he wasn’t . . . it’s more that he has slowly begun to do things differently and, by the time I notice how much things have changed, an entirely new pattern of behavior has been established. But if I mention the change, he becomes very defensive about it.
Case in point – lights in the house. Almost every room in our house has overhead lights, but we seldom use those lights because we have lamps in almost all the rooms that we use instead. We’ve always preferred the softer light from the lamps to the harsh light from the overhead light. However, in the last 3 – 6 months, whenever M walks into a room or hallway, he will flip the overhead light on. And leave it on. He NEVER turns them off. He gets home from work about two hours before I do and it’s not unusual for me to drive home and see our entire house lit up like a Christmas tree – every single overhead light in the house on. For a while there, I would say something, like “Do you still need the light on in the pantry?” or “Is it okay if I turn the light off in the bathroom?” and he would tell me he hadn’t turned them on. Now, I don’t even bother mentioning. I just turn them off and go on with what I’m doing. There’s no point in getting upset about it, but more than that – there’s no point in upsetting him about it. He genuinely doesn’t remember turning the lights on and he can’t tell me why he does it. Why start an argument about it?
Just last night, we had turned off all the lights in the downstairs family room and I was in the kitchen of our split-level house, getting the coffee maker set up for the morning. He was upstairs in the bedroom but then went back down into the family room for a minute. When I left the kitchen and walked by the stairs, the overhead light in the family room downstairs was on and he was upstairs in bed. I just sighed and went downstairs to turn the light off. I’m sure I needed the steps.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that he’s tired ALL THE TIME. He wakes up tired. He goes to work tired. He’s tired when he comes home and when he goes to bed. He’s always been able to fall asleep quickly. I once timed him – from the moment he said “good night” and settled down to the moment he was breathing deeply and I could tell he was asleep, it took 40 seconds. I WISH I could fall asleep like that!! But now, it doesn’t matter how much sleep he gets or how busy (or not busy) his work day is – he is ALWAYS tired. He’s asleep most afternoons in front of the TV when I get home. He’s taking a multi-vitamin and B12 supplement and there’s nothing else that should cause him to feel this tired all the time. This is on my list to talk to his doctor about at our next appointment.