One Thing at a Time

(Originally posted in Facebook on June 18, 2019)

Maybe we should have gotten a new dog . . .

Maybe I need some valium . . .

Maybe I need an attitude adjustment – it wouldn’t be the first time, that’s for sure!

I don’t know what it was about yesterday, but M was on my nerves SO BAD – it was all I could do not to smack him, very hard.

I had a fine day at work – even got some things accomplished. People responded to emails I sent and complimented me on the work I did, so I don’t think work was the problem. Didn’t have any problems driving home, either. Got the pizza ordered and everyone there for dinner. Of course, my mother forgot about it and I had to call her and ask if she was planning to join us. But that’s not a big deal. And not that unusual for her.

But M was on fire. A conversation would be going on about something – anything – and he would break in with “I did a load of laundry today. It’s probably still in the washing machine.”

Okay. Thanks for sharing.

We were outside, saying good-bye to my mother and he says “we need to decide what we’re going to do about those plants over there.” and points to a natural area we have in our front yard.

Well, right this minute, no – we DON’T need to decide that. At 7 pm on Monday night, we’re not going to do anything about that natural area. Maybe we could talk about it AFTER my mother leaves?!?!

I know he can’t help it. I know it’s not his fault.

I know. I need to find patience from a well that I don’t possess.

This is when I want to sit down and cry. This is when this situation feels SO MUCH bigger than I am.

And this is just the beginning. Things aren’t really all that bad. Yet. He still has his wits about him, for the most part. He’s just being annoying and he gets on my nerves.

What am I going to do when it’s more than that?

I know, in my heart, it’s one day at a time and I need to stop thinking days, weeks and months ahead. But that’s not the way I work. I’m a worst-case scenario girl. Show me a rainbow, and I’ll find the dark cloud behind it.

And there’s a very dark cloud looming on my horizon.

I’m trying my best to keep today’s picture message in mind.

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