Living with an Early-onset Dementia Diagnosis
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 24, 2019)
Things are moving . . . things are happening.
M got a call earlier this week from one of the managers for the new area where he wants to work, inviting him to an interview today. Yesterday, he told his current boss that he had the interview scheduled Continue reading “What if it’s a Scam?”
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 19, 2019)
It’s been a while since M has gotten obsessed about anything, but it happened again last night.
Friday is trash collection day, so I asked him to get a garbage bag from underneath the kitchen sink. I wanted him to go around the house and get the trash together to put out at the curb, but I didn’t say that last bit, just that I wanted him to get the bag and then I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth while he got it.
He came in the bathroom with the bag and asked if I wanted him to put the “things that are in the back” into the bag. We have a dual trash container in the kitchen – garbage in the front, recycles in the back. The recycles go in a blue bin in the garage and you aren’t supposed to use plastic bags for them, so no, I didn’t want him to put the recycles in the plastic bag.
He had to wait until I finished brushing my teeth and he was in the kitchen, almost hopping from one foot to the other, he was so anxious to put those recycles in the garbage bag he had in his hand. I sent him downstairs to empty the trashcan in the den and then he was right back, “Now, can I empty these?” pointing to the recycles bin.
I finally shut the kitchen garbage bin SO HE COULDN’T SEE IT ANY MORE and sent him around the house to finish emptying the trash in the rest of the rooms. Then I had him empty the recycles into the big blue bin in the garage so it would no longer bother him.
Whew! When he gets focused like that, it’s tough to get him to move past it. Fortunately, he doesn’t get angry or belligerent about it. He’s very good natured – but he was very intent on that recycling!
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 17, 2019)
I’m not sure exactly what was going on with M last night . . . we had a pretty typical evening – dinner, TV and then bedtime. It’s not unusual for him to fall asleep while I’m in the bathroom, washing my face.
But last night, he couldn’t seem to fall asleep. He had turned over and I was reading in bed – as I do – but he kept grouching at me to “turn the light off.”
Of course, as soon as I did turn the light off, I fell right to sleep and slept through the night. Ha! This morning, I didn’t ask him how much longer he was awake – I didn’t want to know.
It’s so hot here – 95 degrees during the day and the heat index is well above 100 – our air conditioner is having trouble keeping up. That could be a part of his problem. He’s still putting on a t-shirt, long sleep pants and socks for bed. I know that’s what is comfortable to him January – maybe he needs to change it up in July!
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 15, 2019)
M and I try to donate blood every eight weeks at a local church that sponsors a blood drive . . . he’s type O negative, so they practically give him a piggy-back ride to get him there. Everyone at the church who works the blood drive is really nice and they have the best snacks – homemade peanut butter crackers, donuts, fresh popcorn. And now you know why I go!
Now that “back to school” is right around the corner (can you believe it?!?) the church is gathering supplies for children whose parents can’t afford to buy them. So, I stocked up on some things that M and I could donate and help out. When we were unloading our groceries, I told him to put the school supplies in the dining room and we would take them to the church later.
Saturday afternoon, he asked me what we were doing with all those school supplies.
Sigh.
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 12, 2019)
It’s a red letter day – both M and I got out of the house today and neither of us had a headache! I think that deserves to be noted in some way.
Last night, I went downtown to the old theater to see “Grease” with a friend. M wasn’t interested in going, so it was a girls night out. We had a ton of fun – it was hilarious to see all the people in the theater singing and clapping along with the songs in the movie.
M did call me when he got home from work yesterday to let me know he talked to someone from his HR department about the new position he wants. Unfortunately, I really don’t understand what the HR person said . . . and M doesn’t seem to be able to tell me. He and I talked about it again this morning and I still couldn’t make any sense out of what he was saying.
He said the HR guy told him they received his application for the job. Okay – got that. But then there was some sort of conversation about next steps and all M kept saying was “doing that thing” and “you know.”
When he’s saying “doing that thing” I think he’s referring to the application we completed online, but as far as I know, it’s done. There’s nothing else to do. The ball is now in HR’s court.
And when he says “you know” – no, I don’t know.
So we had a couple of very frustrating conversations, with neither of us understanding what the other one was trying to say. I finally asked if there was anything we needed to do for him to apply for this job and he said no.
I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens.
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 11, 2019)
Karma – it will get you!
This is what I get for being unsympathetic about M and his headache yesterday. OMG – have I had the worst 12 – 18 hours of my life!
I know, for my migraines, to stay away from chocolate . . . although I find it VERY hard to do. And I have to admit, I will cheat and have a piece or two (or twenty) but I really do try to keep it out of the house and away from me.
So instead, I have found sizzling, hot cinnamon jelly beans. They’re not nearly as satisfying as chocolate, but they’re really good and I like them. And I have a big bag of them at home.
Also, I made Watergate salad over the weekend and put maraschino cherries on top.
Last night for dinner, I finished off the salad with some jelly beans for dessert – doesn’t that sound nice and healthy? Evidently, all that red dye did a number on my head.
And I mean A NUMBER. WOW!
I went to bed with a headache. Woke up in the middle of the night with a headache. And then woke up this morning with a headache.
Ugh.
At one point, I really thought I was going to be sick . . . and if you know me, you know I will fight that off FOREVER!!
And I was taking my heavy-duty medicine, drinking Coke and eating saltines for all I was worth. Finally, FINALLY about 9 am, I started feeling better.
I came into work this morning without my watch or any of my jewelry, without my name badge . . . I think I’m lucky I have shoes on.
M was feeling much better last night and I think he went to work this morning.
Memo to self: no more red dye. Anyone interested in a bag of jelly beans?
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 10, 2019)
M stayed home from work today with a migraine.
It’s been a long time since he’s had to do that, and I wouldn’t say anything about it, but my own head has really been giving me a fit lately. I had a horrible headache this past weekend, but one of my brothers was in town visiting and we were meeting our parents for breakfast on Saturday morning. So, of course, I pasted on a smile and went along with everyone to the restaurant. I had taken some medicine and I knew it was just a matter of time before it kicked in . . . in the meantime, my head hurt so badly, it made my eardrums ache. But I powered through it.
I think my ability to do that has made me less sympathetic of his headache pain. I know his head was hurt – I could see it on his face. But at the same time, I manage to function and I think he can do it to.
I think I need to get over it and move on.
We’ve had some really good days lately. Days in which M is really engaged and focused and everything seems to be going well. Even when he is having a problem remembering something, he just laughs and doesn’t get upset or frustrated – which is good. I don’t know what I would do if he were to get depressed or angry when he couldn’t remember things.
Time to count my blessings and appreciate them!
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 3, 2019)
Best part about this week? Only working three days. Worst part about this week? It’s so dang hot!! Ugh!
When I got home from work Monday night, M made some comment about the laundry that had been on the floor in front of the dryer when he got home and how he had taken it upon himself to put it in the washer and get it washed.
Wait just a minute . . .
This is the laundry that was in the dryer Monday morning when he was frantically searching for his missing item from work. The laundry that he threw every which way (including out onto the floor) while he searched for the missing item that I found in his lunchbox.
And he wants me to thank him for doing me the “favor” of washing it?
When I told him how the laundry had ended up on the floor in front of the dryer, his comment was (of course) “I didn’t do that.”
He called me at work yesterday to let me know that the new position he’s been so anxious about has finally been posted as an “available” position by his HR department, so he can go online and officially apply for it. So that’s how we spent yesterday evening, applying for that position. He wanted to get it done the minute I walked in the door, but I managed to get him to wait until I had time to put my purse down. So anxious!
Wishing everyone a safe and happy Independence Day holiday!
(Originally posted in Facebook on July 1, 2019)
Can I just say – I hate summer?!? I love the longer days and the beach and vacations and all the fun stuff . . . but I LOATH and DESPISE being hot. I would so much rather be cold. I can always put on more clothes, but there’s a limit to what you can take off.
Our weekend was good . . . busy. Full of yardwork and housework and all those things that never seem to end when you own a house. M did well and was engaged. He said something about being ready to retire on Saturday. I told him he had a few years left – like 11 before he could retire. Nice try.
Then, this morning, he was eating breakfast and jumped up like he had been stung by a hornet. He started rummaging through all the pockets of his lunchbox (that thing must have two dozen pockets) and getting more agitated by the minute. I finally understood he was missing something he needed for work. He ran downstairs and looked through the laundry at the shorts he had worn Friday . . . in the meantime, I looked in his lunchbox and found the missing item.
All this drama, cursing, stomping, shouting – for something that was right there the entire time.
I just shooed him out the door and sent him on his way. Who wants to start their day off like THAT?
Anyway – enjoy the picture – it’s my very favorite for the Independence Day week.
(Originally posted in Facebook on June 28, 2019)
There are days and there are times when this horrible disease (dementia) is evident and I worry and fret and lose sleep. And then there are days and times when M does things that are just so typically . . . I don’t know if I want to say “male” or just say “human.” I’ll let you be the judge.
Yesterday, I came home from work and put together a pound cake for a friend who is having a birthday today. I try to clean-up as I go, but invariably, there is cleaning to do when I’m done. Once the cake was in the oven, I asked M if he would go outside and water the plants on the front porch while I cleaned up the kitchen.
Cue the heart-felt sigh.
I told him he could clean the kitchen instead and I would go water the flowers, but he said that I had made the mess and I should clean it up.
Okay. There are two things that need to be done. Pick one.
So, he went outside to water the flowers. After I finished in the kitchen (it didn’t take long) I went outside to help and noticed that there were some plants that still needed to be planted and they were looking very sad and wilted in their little packs from the nursery. M had already watered them, so I grabbed a shovel and began to plant them. When I pulled them out of the packs, I saw that he hadn’t given them enough water to get to the roots – he had only gotten the top of the dirt wet.
Can you tell he REALLY didn’t want to do this?
This morning, I had let the pound cake cool overnight and was ready to take it out of the pan and take it to work. I ran a knife around the edge of the pan and turned it over onto a plate – and the cake didn’t come out. I tried it again – still nothing. Finally, after a third time, about two-thirds of the cake came out onto the plate, leaving one-third of the cake stuck to the pan.
What?!?!
I just stood there and looked at this mess and M walked into the kitchen, chuckled and said “uh oh.”
Let me just say, he’s lucky to still be alive.
I didn’t kill him. I didn’t cry. I didn’t throw it all away. I made some vanilla pudding, took some blueberries and strawberries I had in the fridge and my friend is having a fruit trifle for his birthday. Yay.