Tag: driving

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Backseat Drivers in the Back Seat!

(Originally posted in Facebook on June 4, 2019)

Yesterday, I needed to run by Barnes & Noble for a gift. But for me – someone who LOVES books – I could spend hours in there, looking at all the new titles and adding to my (way too long already) reading list. It’s like a candy store for me.

I asked M as I was leaving the house if he wanted to go with me and I was surprised that he did. As we were backing down the driveway, he looked in both directions to see if a car was coming. I could try to look around him so that I, as the driver, could see if a car is coming, but I decided to wait until he was finished. Then he wanted to know why I was sitting there. I told him we both can’t drive the car – so I’m waiting for him to finish his traffic check, then I’ll do mine. Now that I’m doing all the driving, his “back seat driving” is getting worse and worse. He’s about to find himself actually sitting in the back seat, with a magazine or blinders on so he can’t see what’s going on!

When we got to Barnes & Noble, it was like having a toddler with me – “how much longer are we going to be here?” Well, I had just gotten started! I knew what I had gone to the store to buy, but I had lots of looking to do, just for fun. Talk about annoying . . . he was driving me crazy! I don’t know if it was him being a man or his dementia kicking in, but honestly! I told him I was going to leave him at home next time.

And then the trip home – more helpful hints for my driving, such as showing me when the light turned green. Because I can’t see that on my own. I wonder how I drive to work every day, all by myself.

A friend posted on his Facebook page yesterday – Count your blessings. Name them one by one. I have to take a deep breath and remember this.

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Jesus, Take the Wheel

(Originally posted in Facebook on February 27, 2019)

Peace, quiet, calm. The only negative in my life right now is that it’s raining. Again. Which means the house will be filled with muddy paw prints this afternoon. But I’ll take calm and mud any day over chaos.

One of the biggest changes in the dynamic between M and I is that I am now driving whenever he and I go anywhere. I won’t get in the car with him behind the wheel.

It was probably last fall when I made that decision. We had been running errands on a Saturday afternoon and he drove out of a parking lot, turning left onto a two-lane road. Fortunately, there wasn’t any traffic on the road because when he made the turn, he ended up on the wrong side of the yellow lines. I know I should have remained calm and kept my voice down when I let him know he needed to get to the other side of the road. I’m afraid calm, cool and collected didn’t happen. So, of course, he was rattled because I was yelling and I was upset because I felt like we were nearly in a head-on collision. It wasn’t a good time for either of us.

The first few times I took the keys and got in the driver’s seat when we were going somewhere together, he laughed and took it like a joke – as though it wasn’t going to last long. But it’s been going on for a good six months now and he doesn’t mention it any more. Naturally, he tries to find something to criticize about my driving – I knew that was going to happen. He’s always said the first time he ever put on a seat belt was the first time he rode in a car with me driving. Har dee har har.

I feel guilty because he’s still driving himself to work and back and I’m not entirely sure he should be. Of course, my parents are still behind the wheel and I’m not sure they should be, either. I’m really struggling with when all three of them should have their car/licenses taken away and how to go about doing that. Talk about tough conversations! This is one I’m NOT looking forward to.