Looks as though M and our younger son are going to make their cross-country trek, after all.
This weekend was good. Our youngest grandson had his first birthday, Continue reading “Let’s Go Flying Now”
Let’s Go Flying Now
Giving You the Finger
(Originally posted in Facebook on May 30, 2019)
M and I had a really good evening last night. But I have to admit, we definitely miss being able to walk to the dining room and just pointing to whatever strikes our fancy for that evening’s meal and having it served to us. Having to think of a meal, then cook it and eat it, then clean up afterward is for the birds – after you’ve seen how the other half live!
While we were away, I noticed that whenever we walked anywhere – through the ship, around a town we were visiting . . . whatever – M would be two or three steps behind me. I would stop and wait for him to catch up and then he would drop back again. I wanted to talk to him about what we were seeing or what we were going to do next, but he always seemed to walk so much slower than I did and never wanted to catch up.
But when we were in the dining room on the ship and walking around the buffet, he was practically in my back pocket. If I made the mistake of stopping before he realized I was going to, he would plow right into me – he was so close! And I don’t know why. After the first day, we knew our way around the buffet, it wasn’t like he needed my help negotiating the room. But he was right up against me the whole time.
Here’s a picture M took of me in Skagway, AK. Notice how he managed to get into the picture, too?
It’s a Bear!
(Originally posted in Facebook on May 28, 2019)
We’re back!
Whew – we did it. There were a few days I wasn’t sure we were going to make it, but we did and we had a wonderful time! We really, truly did. I can’t recommend this trip enough. Holland America is a fabulous cruise line and our travel agent, Go Forth Travel, did a marvelous job of keeping us in the right place at the right time.
M did pretty well on the trip. Being away from home and the disruption of his daily routine was an issue for him, as I had been afraid of. I found that if I warned him ahead of time and told him “tomorrow we’re going to be doing these three things, it’s going to take this amount of time and we’re going to be away from the ship from this time until this time,” he handled the day much better.
The toughest part of the trip was getting through security at the airport and then getting through the security scanner each time we came back on the ship. I didn’t realize M would have such a hard time with this process and wasn’t prepared to get myself through and coach him through the process. Once I realized what was happening, I handled it better and things went more smoothly.
I think the closest I came to having a breakdown was getting through US Customs in Vancouver. We had taken a bus from Seattle to Vancouver and had gone through Canadian customs with no problems. But, before we could board the ship, we had to go through US Customs – I don’t know why. The line was long, we had already had a long day and nerves were frayed. About halfway through the line, M decides he’s had enough and starts pitching a fit, raising his voice and letting everyone know that “THIS IS RIDICULOUS.” Okay, yes – it is ridiculous, but standing in line, waiting for US Customs to give us approval to board a ship that we have paid A LOT of money to get on is NOT the time to let everyone know that. If there were ever a time to just hush and take one for the team, this would be it. Of course, all my snacks and candy were in another bag and I didn’t have anything to try to make things better except the promise it wouldn’t be much longer. I still don’t know how we got out of there.
Mr. Grizzly Bear says “aarrgg!”
So now we’re back, well rested and on our regular schedules again. No more “all you can eat” buffets. No more room stewards making the bed and cleaning the room. I think I could get used to that kind of life. But I’ve learned that having M in a regular routine is very important. I’ve also learned that I need someone else with me if we ever travel again – having all the responsibility for him is too much.
Setting Sail
(Originally posted in Facebook on May 10, 2019)
So here we are – the day before we leave on our big trip. Yay!
I’m a little concerned, because it means taking M out of the comfort of his routines. He does better with routine, so I’m not sure how this is going to be for him. He seems to be looking forward to this, though, so I hope it’s going to go well. I say “seems to be” . . . he doesn’t get excited and enthusiastic about things like he used to.
I usually have at least one major freak out about an upcoming trip in the days prior to the event – and I managed to work that in on Wednesday. I got an email from the cruise line letting me know what time we were to board the ship and it occurred to me that none of the logistics and itineraries I had for the trip seemed to match up with the departure times and . . . there I went. Spinning out of control.
Fortunately, my travel agent is wonderfully patient and walked me through the entire process and I really do have everything I need. So, I’ve printed out every correspondence from her – including her phone number – and I’m set.
I don’t think I’ll do much in the way of “blogging” or checking in on this space while we’re gone. Wifi on the ship is pricey $$$ and I’ve spent enough. But, I’ll try to take lots of notes so I can report back on the funny stories that happen – because there are bound to be funny stories that happen!! – when we get back.
Sending all of you love and hugs – and many thanks for your support!
Running, Screaming Fit
(Originally posted in Facebook on May 8, 2019)
Yesterday was a really good day – work went well. I met a friend for dinner and had fun catching up.
Then I went home.
The dogs had no water and their bowls were completely dry. Everything from breakfast was exactly where I had left it when I left the house at 7:30 am. Nothing had been done. So I asked M, what have you been doing since you got home at 3:45 pm?
Watching TV.
We’re leaving on a two-week trip in three days. He’s done zero packing, washing, preparation . . . nothing.
Now, I’m not one of those people who will have their house spotlessly clean and the car washed and waxed before I go on a trip, but I would like to avoid it looking like a cyclone has gone through the place. And I do think it’s a good idea to have some climate appropriate clothes packed for this trip that we’ve been planning and have spent A LOT OF MONEY on.
So, I gave the dogs water.
Then, M took the laundry basket downstairs to the laundry room. And sat it there. I went downstairs and emptied it, separated the clothes and then brought the empty basket back upstairs.
I feel like I am constantly bitching about everything. This is not how I want to live my life. I want to appreciate every day. I want to appreciate the time we have together.
I just feel so overwhelmed – as though I’m sitting on a tiny little surfboard on the sand and a wave is growing bigger and bigger in front of me. It’s way over my head and starting to block out the sky. I’ve never had a panic attack, but I think I can understand the forces that would cause one.
I’m the oldest of five children and when I was growing up and my mom would get frustrated with us, she would say she was going to have a running, screaming fit.
Yep, I’m there.
Pacific Ocean
(Originally posted in Facebook on May 7, 2019)
Last night was a nice, quiet evening. Yay! M and I spent most of our time trying to get a head start on our packing for our upcoming trip.(The photo is of the Pacific Ocean – we get to see it again!!) The real question seems to be where I’ve hidden all my jeans and long pants in the 3-4 weeks since warm weather finally arrived? I know I’ve been trying to do some purging, but SURELY I didn’t get rid of those vital items!?!?!
The mystery continues.
M did really well until this morning, when I asked him to get a new supply of napkins for the napkin holder in the kitchen. He went in the pantry, then called back out to ask me where they were. I directed him to the cabinet where we keep them . . . where we’ve been keeping them for the past 10 years or so. After he left for work, I went back in the pantry and closed the cabinet door and turned off the light.
It’s the trail of where M has been.
I’m still waiting to hear back from his doctor, regarding Frontotemporal Dementia and whether or not this is what M is dealing with. It doesn’t make any difference, really. But I’d like to know.
Travel!
(Originally posted in Facebook on April 11, 2019)
We’re getting ready for a trip – we’ll be taking a cruise to Alaska soon. It’s one of those things we have always wanted to do and had planned to do once we retired. When we received M’s diagnosis, we decided things like this shouldn’t/couldn’t wait – so here we go.
Last night, we sat down to look at the excursions that are part of the trip to decide what we wanted to do. Wow. There were so many to choose from and getting M to make a decision was like pulling teeth. He would suggest something like a brewery tour and tasting, which would be fine. But I can’t drink alcohol because it will give me a raging migraine headache and he stopped drinking beer years ago because he saw it was becoming a problem for him. So, a brewery tour and tasting would be a waste of time and money for us.
Then there was the matter of his glasses. Of course, the prescription glasses that he SHOULD be wearing all the time are in his car – he wears them only if he’s driving at night. Scattered around the house are “readers” but for some reason, he couldn’t seem to put his hands on a pair of them last night. I think I’m going to order a 10-pack of them from Amazon and have a pair in every room, just like I do with my chapstick tubes.
On a happy note, we did choose an excursion that will allow us to spend some time with husky puppies. Now, THAT is going to be a ton of fun!!
Amazing Trip
(Originally posted to Facebook on March 27, 2019)
Whew!
After days of sitting in airports, running for flights, hiking, walking, eating (lots of eating!!), riding, touring, shopping, talking, exploring and never getting used to LA traffic – we are home!
We had a WONDERFUL trip to California to see our younger son and it all turned out very well. We each got to do some of the touristy things we wanted to do while we were there, so we had a good time.
I finally had an opportunity to talk to our son about M and his diagnosis face-to-face. He took the news better than I had expected, but he had been living at the house until May 2018, so he had seen what was going on until that time.
I did stress to him that this diagnosis is not to change his career plans AT ALL. I don’t want him to decide that he needs to come home and “take care” of us. The best thing he can do to take care of his father and me is to continue on the career path he is on right now and get all the education and training he can. Take advantage of every opportunity that comes his way to learn and to grow in his field – THAT is what will be most helpful to us.
M did very well on our trip. There were moments – as there always are – but on the whole it was a good trip. There were a couple of hiccups on our return trip and those seemed to throw him for a loop, but he did pretty well.
We had to get up at 3:30 am Pacific Time, to catch our flight out yesterday and didn’t get home and settled until after 7:30 pm Eastern Time – which made for a LONG day. M decided that he wasn’t going to go to work today because he was tired. Of course, he wouldn’t get paid for this day off because he has used all his paid time off, so we had to have a conversation about that. I understand being tired – I’m tired, too. But I suggested he get a good night’s sleep and get on in to work today. He went in – I just hope he stays all day.
Recurring Dreams
(Originally posted in Facebook on March 20, 2019)
We’re sitting at the airport, waiting for the first flight of this journey. I understand the “why” behind it, but air travel has become such an exercise in humiliation. After my full body scan, I got to have both arms and shoulders examined “up close and personally” by a TSA agent – which was fun for both of us. Sigh. This is when I’m looking for the Jetsons and my flying car.
Last night was a trial – that’s all I can call it. Trying to get packed and keep things light and breezy was almost more than I could do. At one point, M started a panicked search for his shaving kit, which took him all through the house. He finally found it in the kitchen.
Now, that does make sense, because when we’re going on car trips – say, to the beach – the packing of the car is launched from the kitchen. But we’re flying for this trip, so I told M to bring the kit upstairs so we could pack it.
Well, THAT didn’t make him happy. Then I pointed out he had a full size tube of toothpaste in there, which would probably get tossed. As you can imagine, things just got more and more tense.
We eventually got things back on an even keel, after a few tears on my part and some hugs.
One of my few recurring dreams involves a huge wave of water looming over me. It’s just off the beach and it’s so big that it’s all I can see, no matter what else I’m looking at on the shore. It never takes me down or drowns me, but it’s always there.
This photo is from the Clark Little Gallery Instagram page. Follow them!
Stick to the Plan
(Originally posted in Facebook on March 19, 2019)
Routine. As boring and dull as it sounds, for someone dealing with the challenges M is facing, routines are a very good thing. He depends on his routines and I forget that. I can take changes in stride and it isn’t that easy for him.
We’re leaving tomorrow to visit our younger son in Los Angeles. We’re both excited and looking forward to this visit – we haven’t seen him since Thanksgiving. But traveling is going to be a change from our daily routine and I am beginning to see how this is throwing M for a loop.
Last night, when I got home, I suggested that we start gathering our clothes together for the trip. I wanted to make sure we didn’t need to get any laundry done before we left and to try to avoid those “I forgot to pack underwear” trips to WalMart that I’m famous for when we land.
M was great, getting his outfits together, but then he turned to me and asked, “Are we leaving tomorrow?” I assured him we were still leaving Wednesday, that I was simply trying to get an early start on our packing.
Later in the evening, he asked what time we needed to leave for the airport. As we talked about what time the flight was leaving and how early we should get there, he said that I would need to call his boss, Ashley, on Wednesday morning and let her know what time he would be leaving work.
What?
We went back and forth a couple of times with:
“What are you talking about?”
“What are YOU talking about?”
Before I finally stopped and asked “Don’t you have Wednesday off work? You told me you had asked for this time off.”
He thought about it for a few seconds, then his face cleared and he said, “Oh yeah. That’s right. Never mind.” And that was the end of it. He assured me that he DID ask for the time off to go on this trip and that there was nothing to worry about.
There’s a part of me that wants to believe him. And a part of me that wants to check behind him and make sure he’s taken care of this with his boss. I honestly feel as though I’m between a rock and a very hard place – and I’m not enjoying this AT ALL!